Sunday Quotables: Marilyn Monroe on Failure

"Just because you fail at once, doesn't mean you're going to fail at everything."

-Marilyn Monroe

As soon as I read this I thought of many individuals on the spectrum that I have had the privilege of knowing for whom this was not true.  Who saw one failure as a sign that they could not succeed and also took it as a deep personal failure- which led them to be resistant to trying anything new- because what if... what if they failed?  

I think frequently of what it must be to live in a state of perpetual fear of failure.  It would be debilitating.  I once tried to count how many times our toddler fell down and failed in one day- I lost count.  Failure is a normal part of daily life.  Without healthy amounts of failure we never learn and experience triumph and resilience- critical for life, balance and wellbeing.

Sunday Quotables: On Bullying

In light of the recent equal parts heart breaking and warming story on bullying and doing the right thing- I thought this quote appropriate.

"Knowing what's right doesn't mean much unless you do what's right." - Theodore Roosevelt

Sunday Quotables: Have Fun!

"You'll never be disappointed if you always keep an eye on uncharted territory, where you'll be challenged and growing and having fun." - Kirstie Alley

Sunday Quotables

"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." Franklin D. Roosevelt

Enjoy the long President's Day weekend and if the weekend is feeling a little too long, tie that double knot.

Sunday Quotables

Early Happy Valentines Day!

“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. 

It is an active noun like struggle. 

To love someone is to strive to accept that person 

exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” 

― Fred Rogers

Quotable Sundays: Dr. Suess

 

And I'd like to think the same can be said of the person who speaks. :)

Quotable Sundays: Thanksgiving

I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving week!

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

 On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment - halftime.  ~Author Unknown  :)

Quotable Sundays: Winnie the Pooh

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."” 

- Winnie The Pooh

I tell ya, that Winnie the Pooh has some good ones.  


I remember reading a few studies on individuals with autism and stress levels.  As you can imagine, they found individuals living day to day with unimaginable amounts of stress hormones in the system (cortisol).  Of course this comes as no surprise.  It's a normal physiological reaction to massive amounts of unproductive uncertainty.  It can and does happen to all of us- at small doses.  The level and amount that individuals on the spectrum found themselves at that heightened level... oy.


When I read this quote those studies popped in my mind... what really stuck however... was the experiences families have had reducing that stress by stressing quality over quantity of everything.  And from this change of focus and priority comes a change in relationships.  From a child withdrawing more to one turning in.  One who finds safety among others.  Who reaches out for comfort.

Quotable Sundays: Winnie The Pooh

“If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”

- Winnie the Pooh

Ah the wise words of Winnie the Pooh.  This quote reminded me of the profound patience and faith we use when we commit to using experience sharing/declarative communication.  At the beginning oh how it can feel like you are talking to walls! As if there is fluff in your partners ears. 

And then slowly and sometimes without warning those seeds that you've have planted with commenting and silence begin to bud.

It never ceases to amaze me.  Declarative communication is powerful.

Quotable Sundays

"We are not going to sweep away all the support, but we are going to dismantle it piece by piece as we transfer the competence and responsibility to the child."

Helen O'Callaghan

Quotable Sundays

“Those who know how to think need no teachers.” - Ghandi

It's amazing when we see a child discover a new way of thinking or seeing the world.  They have ownership over it and need little to no direction.  This discovery of a thought process (the why bother) is so much different than the discovery of a skill outside of thought.  Without the thought and context behind a discovery you are always in need of a teacher to remind you to use the skill.  This may be sufficient for the short term... long term though, my do we want to see thinkers!

Quotable Sundays

"If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else." ~Lawrence J. Peter

And that's not always a bad thing, unless you're out of milk.

It can be a difficult balance to know when to hold tight to our original plan of an activity and when to let go and see where you will end up. My best advice, give them both a try. Having always and never rules never always work. ;)

Quotable Sundays

"Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve." 

-Roger Lewin

This is perhaps one of my favorite quotes of late.  While having a few answers is nice, it's the ability to problem solve in the face of uncertainty that gets us where we want to go.

This week I encourage us all to put some problems at our child's feet.  The competence they gain from working through one is learning that lasts a lifetime.

Daily "Problems" (read opportunities for learning!)

-Allowing disagreements

-Allowing things to stay lost a little longer (Moms, I know you actually know where everything is!)

-Turning off the GPS

-Chopsticks

-Missing chairs

-Deciding what to wear
-Deciding who goes first